We often think we live in one objective reality. The outside world is real, yet each of us views it through a personal lens—our values, beliefs, and habits of mind. The task is to notice that lens: which parts are truly yours, and which were learned from others?

Your sense of self rests on three pillars:

• Character traits – tendencies such as open or cautious, conscientious or easy-going, risk-averse or bold.
• Beliefs and values – what you hold to be true and what you consider most important.
• Thinking and emotional styles – habits that guide you to be reflective or impulsive, firm or flexible, attentive or less responsive to others’ feelings.

Life’s circumstances can shift these pillars. At times, you may feel ready to face the world with confidence; at other times, you may be more careful or unsure.

Learning the layers of your inner reality—and how they meet external reality—helps you adapt to new and unexpected challenges.